If i come over, it means nothing
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Randomize
