Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
no you cant smoke seaweed
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
