at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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