Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
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I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
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"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
The air taste purple.
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