weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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