I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
