Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
