im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
