she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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