she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference