69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week