We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
