Texts From Last Night

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  (312): View more from Illinois

  i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab

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  (312): i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab http://tfl.nu/kluh
  Replies (18) Good night (2767) Bad night (824)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.

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  (856): would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions. http://tfl.nu/8b19
  Replies (5) Good night (2997) Bad night (522)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining

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  (305): If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining http://tfl.nu/lz11
  Replies (24) Good night (5407) Bad night (680)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.

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  (845): Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name. http://tfl.nu/dkz5
  Replies (27) Good night (6733) Bad night (634)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.

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  (704): Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer. http://tfl.nu/5883
  Replies (10) Good night (2952) Bad night (1387)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.

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  (301): I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this. http://tfl.nu/hhg4
  Replies (12) Good night (1263) Bad night (2611)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....

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  (757): You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors.... http://tfl.nu/43xp
  Replies (4) Good night (3464) Bad night (1856)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.

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  (403): He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant. http://tfl.nu/2z77
  Replies (10) Good night (3647) Bad night (909)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast

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  (502): How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast http://tfl.nu/g6rv
  Replies (15) Good night (1812) Bad night (4330)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.

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  (817): Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes. http://tfl.nu/hziw
  Replies (10) Good night (2604) Bad night (967)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.

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  (860): You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool. http://tfl.nu/a5su
  Replies (11) Good night (2860) Bad night (1018)
• Favorite

  (606): View more from Kentucky

  I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.

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  (606): I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died. http://tfl.nu/jcdc
  Replies (7) Good night (1464) Bad night (878)
• Favorite

  (213): View more from California

  And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at

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  (213): And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at http://tfl.nu/rkdn
  Replies (5) Good night (1727) Bad night (499)
• Favorite

  (229): View more from Georgia

  Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.

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  (229): Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us. http://tfl.nu/rq4r
  Replies (7) Good night (383) Bad night (682)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..

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  (503): I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows.. http://tfl.nu/u6a7
  Replies (0) Good night (256) Bad night (455)

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