Texts From Last Night

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  (513): View more from Ohio

  u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny

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  (513): u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny http://tfl.nu/3xi0
  Replies (11) Good night (719) Bad night (4220)
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  (905): View more from Toronto

  just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.

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  (905): just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped. http://tfl.nu/8nmk
  Replies (35) Good night (1115) Bad night (10295)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.

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  (734): You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom. http://tfl.nu/aenv
  Replies (34) Good night (3778) Bad night (1307)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.

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  (757): I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home. http://tfl.nu/lnz2
  Replies (23) Good night (1158) Bad night (5676)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.

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  (941): Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low. http://tfl.nu/swva
  Replies (33) Good night (1015) Bad night (6534)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?

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  (248): Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning? http://tfl.nu/u220
  Replies (16) Good night (7590) Bad night (1006)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.

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  (337): Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times. http://tfl.nu/ao6t
  Replies (30) Good night (9606) Bad night (1228)
• Favorite

  (623): View more from Arizona

  Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts

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  (623): Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts http://tfl.nu/oqnb
  Replies (8) Good night (2147) Bad night (595)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  do we own a ladder

  (206): View more from Washington

  We do not.

  (360): View more from Washington

  then how am i on the roof

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  (360): do we own a ladder (206): We do not. (360): then how am i on the roof http://tfl.nu/xqbq
  Replies (18) Good night (5727) Bad night (766)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.

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  (661): Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them. http://tfl.nu/la60
  Replies (5) Good night (1259) Bad night (534)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!

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  (702): Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one! http://tfl.nu/ayyz
  Replies (3) Good night (930) Bad night (381)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  There's a naked man in my car right now.

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  (903): There's a naked man in my car right now. http://tfl.nu/6qzb
  Replies (6) Good night (707) Bad night (338)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?

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  (315): In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise? http://tfl.nu/go2f
  Replies (3) Good night (299) Bad night (442)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.

  (913): View more from Kansas

  Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.

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  (913): For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room. (913): Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed. http://tfl.nu/pmqb
  Replies (0) Good night (540) Bad night (253)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program

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  (512): I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program http://tfl.nu/m5d9
  Replies (0) Good night (747) Bad night (173)

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