Texts From Last Night

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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind

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  (773): I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind http://tfl.nu/hlcm
  Replies (23) Good night (4227) Bad night (795)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.

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  (636): FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust. http://tfl.nu/5llx
  Replies (8) Good night (4043) Bad night (779)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents

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  (563): oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents http://tfl.nu/iqnb
  Replies (8) Good night (3115) Bad night (952)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.

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  (618): Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this. http://tfl.nu/flrg
  Replies (7) Good night (1521) Bad night (3320)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.

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  (781): please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again. http://tfl.nu/xtmx
  Replies (9) Good night (4962) Bad night (936)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.

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  (414): Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack. http://tfl.nu/nm91
  Replies (10) Good night (2760) Bad night (896)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.

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  (317): You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour. http://tfl.nu/7a2s
  Replies (4) Good night (3082) Bad night (694)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.

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  (919): Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician (919): 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician. http://tfl.nu/iajm
  Replies (10) Good night (2241) Bad night (725)
• Favorite

  (386): View more from Florida

  he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it

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  (386): he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it http://tfl.nu/bfv6
  Replies (16) Good night (1950) Bad night (1371)
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  (845): View more from New York

  You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey

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  (845): You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey http://tfl.nu/3j62
  Replies (5) Good night (1437) Bad night (685)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin

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  (717): In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin http://tfl.nu/u60j
  Replies (5) Good night (821) Bad night (348)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"

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  (507): I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?" http://tfl.nu/mr60
  Replies (8) Good night (612) Bad night (270)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..

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  (773): somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear.. http://tfl.nu/ati2
  Replies (1) Good night (482) Bad night (556)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight

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  (630): Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight http://tfl.nu/q3l9
  Replies (6) Good night (981) Bad night (347)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  We call him Texas for a reason.

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  (412): he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after (610): We call him Texas for a reason. http://tfl.nu/dr7v
  Replies (1) Good night (1011) Bad night (328)

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