I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
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I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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