i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Shitshow foam night was such a success
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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