i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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