I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I cannot find my penis.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
