covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
