Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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