I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
