babies were throwing up all over the place
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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