last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
