my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Can I color on your dick again?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
