I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
