Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
They are going to name an STD after you.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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