...so i touched it.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
You pole danced in your parka.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
