i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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