Sponge bath it is.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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