not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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