I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
