Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I intend to get homeless drunk
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
