OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
