So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Walk of Shame today included voting.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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