all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
