No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
