I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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