He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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