can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
