oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
