Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
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