im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
