all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
