btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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