There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
