Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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