Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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