Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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