oh god the rape fog is back!
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Randomize
