Cold hands, warm shart.
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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