i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
