I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
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