Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize