operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
