If that was your dad, he is hot
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
