I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize