one might say we're banned from that church
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
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If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
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I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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