dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
