we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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