i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
