I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
