oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
