so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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