I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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