everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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