I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
