Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
