just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
dude i'm inner monologue high
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
