so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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